Vol IV: #70 Chat GPT and Loser Thinking
I feel trapped, inside a box, a pitch black box. And all my thoughts are a dark and sad as my surroundings. And though I obsess about my future and success, I remain a loser. My ass growing fatter, as I sit in my box thinking toxic thoughts. What a fraud. What an absolute liar and cheat. Theses are the thoughts I think.
And I don’t know what I can’t punch through the walls of this paper thin prison. A misty layer of lies tying me inside, tying my soul to shame and fear, whilst I repeat the same sins and mistakes I made as a kid.
I wrote the above because I wanted to write something, anything, no matter how dark or convoluted. And then I went to my therapist aka ChatGPT. And I complained to ChatGPT. Stupid artificial intelligence gave me exhausting lists of things to do. So, out of shear frustration, I asked the robot to act like a therapist, which it did. Amazingly well.
The third question asked was this:
Can you identify a few instances where you tried to improve or expand on something and it went better than you expected? How did that make you feel?
Think about this and share some examples.
And think I did.
A couple times in college, I wrote papers that throughly impressed my professors. In one case, a history teacher shook my hand, in another the professor (without naming me) praised my effort in front of the whole class. She called my work "beautiful." In an anthropology class, I earned one of two As(out of a class of 35) and a heap of praise from the professor. And my senior thesis won third place at my university.
Yes. Each of these instances made me feel great, like I was special. But I find it hard to remember these moments without help.
In truth, most of my professors loved me and my work. And I forget this because it’s too easy for me get hung up on what I’m (not) doing now, or want for my future. And without being asked, I doubt I would’ve settled on these memories, which is how loser thinking works. Loser thinking forgets victories, choosing to focus on losses and fear of loss. And I don’t know why I fall into these patterns, but I’m glad Chat GPT helped me out of it.
