Walk in the Woods

What the Lord Taught Me, Daily Journal Nik Curfman What the Lord Taught Me, Daily Journal Nik Curfman

Learnt: Spirit over Flesh

Yesterday, for the first time I understood what Paul understood. More importantly, I now know the difference between walking in the flesh and by the Spirit. All of those sins Paul mentioned? They are a guide, not a condemnation.

LINKS

I’ve read Galatians 5 on a handful of occasions, and it never hit me the way it did yesterday. It begins with a verse most of us keep in our “Happy Scripture” pile,“It is for freedom that Jesus Christ set us free.” Or as the Message put a bit more eloquently, “Christ has set us free to live a free life.” That statement alone carries tremendous weight on its shoulders. Jesus set us free to make decisions and consciously choose to walk with Him. We are not exchanging slavery for slavery. Jesus wants friends and family, not hired hands.

The freedom thing isn’t what got me yesterday, awesome and sobering as it is. Nope, what slunk between my eyes was the part of the chapter I’d rather skip over. It is the section in which Paul details what living according to the flesh does in our life, and the fruit it being in bondage to it (again, the Message speaks to me):

“It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time:

repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional

garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show

religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-

satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes

and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of

depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions;

ugly parodies of community. I could go on.”

As I read these words, I saw myself. I saw anger (brutal temper). I saw selfishness (all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants.) I saw immorality (cheap sex.) I saw practically every one of these “fruits” of the flesh work its way out of me at one point or another. And yes, I’m a Christian. (We forget, Paul was writing to fellow Christians.)

Ordinarily, scripture like this would be a stone around my neck, a heavy reminder of everything I should avoid. I would also use it as a measuring stick to judge myself, as though a successful walk with the Lord is measured by what sins we avoid.

Yesterday, for the first time I understood what Paul understood. More importantly, I now know the difference between walking in the flesh and by the Spirit. All of those sins Paul mentioned? They are a guide, not a condemnation.

I know now when I am engaging in control and fear. Whenever I engage in my flesh I am defensive, jealous, angry, needy, prone to addictive habits (like smoking cannabis, drinking, or masturbation), and I look for cheap alternatives to Love (like porn or binge-eating and shopping.) These are destructive signs that scream,“HEY NIK, YOU’RE NOT DOING WELL BUDDY! YOU NEED JESUS!”

The enemy loves to come over the top of my sins with judgment. He piles on the guilt and shame. What good Christian jerks off to porn? That weed isn’t really helping? Oops…angry again? You’ll always be angry. You can’t help it. You’ll always be fat and alone. Down the emotional rabbit hole I go.

The glorious moment I experienced yesterday came when I realized, while very imperfect, I now spend most of my life living according to the Spirit. And, what a stark difference it is.

“But what happens when we live God’s way?

He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard

—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a

willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a

conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves

involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to

marshal and direct our energies wisely.”

Galatians 5:22-23, The Message

I do not waste my energy trying to be good, trying to avoid sin. I see the fruit of the Spirit (peace, love, hope, joy, faithfulness, righteousness, self-control, etc) because I intentionally use my Freedom to choose Him. Everyday I show up and walk with the Lord in whatever state I am in. Today my day started with a battle in mind. I admitted it to the Lord, and we talked about it for a while. I didn’t do anything other than create room for Jesus to be who He is. Living in the Spirit is not a matter of my(or your) will power, but it is a choice.

All I can do is encourage you to show up before Jesus, everyday. (I wrote a whole blog about my process you may find interesting.) Be honest in your prayers. Lay all your fears, hopes, and desires at His feet. Accept what He gives you, and receive His goodness. Then trust Him.

Living in the Spirit is much more simple than I knew. No, it isn’t easy. I am amazed how deep some parts of my flesh are buried. Everyday is new battle, and I have the endurance to fight on till victory. Regardless, choosing the Lord is a matter of choices, words, and dedication. No special talent or qualification required. Past history matters only in our minds.


Read More