DJ: #69 Ask And You Shall Receive?
Jesus made a number of crazy claims and promises, but none more troubling than Mark 11:24. I’m wrestling with it today, and I desperately want to believe Him. And if I do, then what? What do I ask for, what’s my motivation, and does that even matter? (Oh…you need a reminder? I would too. I remember words, but rarely the book, chapter, and verse.) Let’s review, and I’ll add context by including verse 23 (New Nik Version):
“I am telling you, if any of you says to that mountain, “get your ass into the sea” without doubt, but you believe it will happen, it’s gonna happen. Keep what I say in your heart. Therefore, whatever you ask our Father in prayer, believe for it, hold it and continue on in faith, and you will receive it, and it will be yours.”
Mark 11:23-24 (NNV)
How many of us prayed prayers and watched them die, watched the opposite happen? I prayed all spring for a relationship only to watch it fall apart. When I step back, it was best. I needed to go on in my way with Jesus, and her in her way with Jesus. But still, couldn’t we have done it together? Perhaps. But we didn’t.
More to my point this morning, what do I do with this promise by Jesus? What I truly want is strong, confident woman to marry and adventure through life as a team. I want a woman in love with Jesus, and herself. And yet…my heart still had room for her. She is still learning and growing. More importantly, she doesn’t want me. It’s a real deal breaker. LOLOLOLOL (I’m truly laughing with joy as I type this. I want someone who wants me. It’s rule #1.)
Over the last month or so, I’ve felt a healthy and good disconnect from her. It needed to happen regardless of what the future holds. And then I read Mark 11. Do I pray for a generic woman, yet to surface on my radar? Or her? Do I sit in faith and hope? I don’t know. I don’t think there is a wrong answer.
Part of me just wants to move on. If I trust the Lord and if she comes back around in a romantic sense, do I need to pray for it? In this mindset I wouldn’t need to pray for anything. I think my issue is whatever ask for in prayer, I will put thought and emotion behind. And as I typed those words I know what to do. This is about trusting Jesus and not specific desires. The Lord has a plan and destiny for me, and that’s all I want.
Lord,
You know my desire for a strong and healthy relationship with a strong and healthy woman. I want a great family, full of love and joy, and peace. I ask you to prepare my heart and mind for the journey. Prepare her heart and mind for the journey. Surround both of us with community to watch over and guide us through the rough moments and pitfalls.
I open my heart for Your best for my life. I trust you Jesus. You know of my love and appreciation for her. And like I’ve done a thousand times this year, I give everything to you. I’m more interested in something glorious and beautiful in your sight, than my mine. Your loving will be done in my life and heart.
(Also, bless her today. Shower her with joy and peace and love.)
Amen.
